Anxiety is one of the top issues people deal with when trying to get their money in order. In this post, you will hear my story with generalized anxiety disorder and how I was able to heal from it by focusing on my money traumas.
The horrifying story
I used to suffer from generalized anxiety disorder
And for those who are quick to comment “Aw, I’ve had a panic attack before. I know how you felt”… No you don’t.
It’s not just a panic attack, it that debilitating type of anxiety that feels like a constant panic attack for hours on end. Where just leaving the bedroom to the next room (let’s say the bathroom) is a means for tunnel vision and extreme fear. You just sit there, not thinking about anything and another massive anxiety suddenly hits you.
For me, It was a chemical imbalance triggered by stress and medication. I was a college student, you see. First generation. Also worked full time at a bank and lived at home. I was sick one winter during finals. I took some flu medication which had stimulants and it caused a chemical reaction that brought up my biggest fears over and over again.
I would just sit there quietly, meditating in a way, and still, the anxiety would hit me like a ton of bricks. I tried meditation and certain herbs like chamomile and valerian root. My mom made me linden tea
I get it was chemically induced but still the same thoughts fueled the anxiety…Money. Fear is different for everyone – what anxiety does is bring up your own brand of fear.
From this overarching theme of money, the following thoughts replayed themselves: You will fail. If you fail, you will let everyone down. You will not finish school and end up like so many in your community. You don’t belong in better places
You’ll remain poor for life.
It went on and on. I was 20 years old and didn’t know how to fix it. I couldn’t look at a phone or computer because I was not even able to focus on words. But fortunately, a neighbor friend visiting my mom suggested I see a psychiatrist. I knew I needed help and was open to medication because I was not able to function.
Unfortunately, the psychiatrist sucked because I choose the closest one to my house without doing any research. he didn’t listen to a word I said and prescribed me clonazepam – which I proceeded to be addicted to for the next 3 years.
In those 3 years, I graduated college got a nice job in finance, and acquired a few side hustles in modeling. But I was still struggling emotionally and financially. Moving out of New Jersey would help me get over my fears. But as you know with these surface-level changes, when you move, you take your baggage with you.
There was no escaping the real problem – so I decided to take control of my life and get to the source of all this self-imposed trauma.
I asked why I had so much resistance to money and my job.
I had a great job and saw many growth opportunities. But I found myself self-sabotaging, thus making my biggest fear of failing come true. If I fail, people will leave me. There was a lot of resistance and dug deep into where that resistance was and where did it come from?
I asked myself what was I afraid of?
Your resistance comes from a deeply embedded fear of something. Your current situation is but a physical representation of what is going on in your head and many times, our life is fueled by fear.
Yup that’s right, the things we think about, the habits we adopt, and the choices we make are fueled by something. So if it’s fear you are leading with, time to explore what those are to be able to release them.
For me, I thought that if I didn’t get too high up on the success train I won’t have to fall as hard. There it was.
The source: The reason I was not getting anywhere in my finances was a fear of success because I would end up alone.
Explore what the source of your fear is for you
Release the limiting thought
Finally, once you’ve discovered what clutter is clogging up your mental space and keeping you from making progress with your money, it’s time to clean up.
Release can take many forms and it depends on:
- What the limiting belief is
- How associated you are with it/how much part of your identity is it
- How long you’ve had this belief
- How desperate you are to change
- What methods do you use
So the timeline to release this is different for everyone. You have to make sure you are using the right method of releasing – meaning one that is in alignment with your goals and your human design.
For some, hypnosis works great and for others, journaling may be their thing. Some people meditate while others release better by taking long walks in the woods. Some people do limpas visualizing their money trauma whereas others prefer a more physical form of release (like hitting the gym, dancing, or martial arts)
You are not alone
Whatever method you choose to release your limiting beliefs about money, know that you are on your timeline. As part of all this, getting support was huge in impacting my money-healing journey. I had all sorts of mentors who gave me ideas on what I could do.
Because of them and my efforts, I was able to release debilitating thoughts and in the process heal my anxiety disorder.
This is the reason why I dedicated my life to helping women like you overcome their anxiety and frustrations about money. It sucks but I can help you overcome this life lesson.
If you feel called to work with me, my 1:1 private coaching is open. Use this link to schedule a 30-minute clarity call and to see if we are a good fit.